About Snorted
Snorted exists because of a very specific sound.
It's the one you make when something catches you off guard — the involuntary nose-laugh you'd have suppressed if you'd seen it coming. You can't fake it and you can't schedule it. That reaction is the whole product. The shirt is just how you carry it around.
What we actually do
We write jokes, print them large on good blanks, and ship them from the United States. That's it. No lifestyle manifesto, no founder origin story involving a beach in Bali.
Why everything is printed to order
We don't guess what will sell and buy a thousand units of it. Every shirt is printed after someone orders it, at a facility in the US. That means:
- Nothing gets thrown away. The fashion industry destroys an obscene amount of unsold inventory. We can't, because we never make it.
- We can be weird. A joke that only lands for four thousand people is worth printing. It wouldn't survive a minimum order quantity.
- It takes a few days longer. Production runs 2–5 business days before shipping starts. That's the trade, and we'd rather tell you than bury it.
Every design is ours
We write our own lines and draw our own graphics. We don't print band logos, movie quotes, sports teams, or anyone else's characters. Partly because it's illegal. Mostly because reprinting someone else's joke isn't a business, it's a photocopier.
The blanks
Tees are Bella+Canvas 3001 — ringspun cotton, actually soft, holds its shape through a wash. Hoodies are Gildan 18500 heavy blend. We picked garments people keep instead of garments that cost us less.
If something goes wrong
Misprint, wrong item, damaged in transit — we reprint or refund, we cover it, and we don't make you fight for it. Details are in our Refund Policy, written in plain English.
Snorted is operated by GLOWFALL LLC, 7901 4th St N #4705, St. Petersburg, FL 33702.
Say something: info@snorted.store